In just a few short weeks, we will be bringing our girls home forever. To be honest I can't wrap my head around it entirely. To wait and hope so long for something, and then have it happen. I'm so thankful that we are one of the families that 'made it through', one of the families that get to bring our girls home. It feels like so many families don't.
We have been busy preparing for our girls to come home. This week is proof that the nesting instinct isn't entirely biological. I feel like we're ready.
We've been learning Creole. We've been reading books about adoption and transitions. And we've been thinking a lot about how we can do this next step well. There are lots of really good recommendations from experts and people who have adopted, and I wanted to let you in on the ones we hope to follow.
"We will make every effort to keep in mind that our girls may not feel 'lucky' to be adopted. Not much about their life up to this point has been 'lucky'. The truth is the girls are "orphans, and that is a trauma that occurred early in life and affects them on an emotional level very deeply. It doesn't "FEEL" like a blessing to be an orphan. It doesn't "feel" like a blessing to leave every familiar sight, smell, sound, and person and come to a new place, especially when you may not understand what is happening." So even though we are ecstatic, they may not be. It might take some time for them to warm up to this whole 'adoption' idea. We'll try not to put expectations on them based on what we feel their gratefulness should be.
We need to work really hard at helping our girls figure out that we are their family. That we'll provide for them. That they live with us forever. That they can trust our love. And that means we'll have to keep their world really small for a while. Some kids jet right through this stage, and other kids take a while. There isn't any way to know how our girls will cope, but they'll let us know when they're ready to have their circle grow.
That means we won't be having a 'welcome home' party. There will be a lot of stressful events (like catching up on dentistry and going to the doctors) that we can't control, but there are some we can. Even though a 'welcome home' party would feel really good for us, it would likely be confusing and overwhelming for them.
Normally, it would be great to have a welcoming party at the airport, but we won't be landing in Toronto until midnight, and there's a good chance we'll all be on our last leg. We'll be zooming through that airport as if our pants were on fire, and getting home as quick as we can. If you want to come to the airport, we'll be happy to give you a hug and let you get a peek at the girls, but it will be very brief.
It might look like we've disappeared for a while, but we'll be here. Doing the day in and day out that it takes to knit a family together. "Please check in on us and ask us how we are doing. It can be a very hard and isolating time for families. Please call; leave messages; send notes. If we don't get back to you, pray for us. It is probably because we are still in survival mode. In that time, we are told we need to be reminded by friends that though we are isolated, we are not forgotten."
So for those of you who have prayed and prayed with us, thank you. For those of you who have faithfully asked how our adoption was going, thank you. For those of you who have helped us financially, thank you. It has surprised me (despite all the warnings) how taxing this has been. How long, how much waiting, and how much stress this involves. But we are almost through. Just about. Now the real work begins.
I feel like we are just exiting our winter in this journey, and as we head into our spring we have to take the time to create rich, fertile soil that will let roots go down deep.
I'll do my best to post updates here, but if my fellow adoptive Mom's are any indication, I may not get to it. It's more likely I'll be posting a few quick pictures on facebook.
I can't wait for you to meet my girls. So you can see the sparkle in their eyes and join me in my heart song of gratefulness that we get to be a part of their lives. We'll introduce them to you slowly, trust me, it will be worth the wait.
I recently saw a great blog from another Mom who has adopted from Haiti. She must have read my mind because she has very nicely captured how I'm feeling. Her original blog is here http://confessionsofasupermomwannabe.blogspot.ca/2013/08/what-to-expect-at-homecoming-from-us.html
I've tried not to plagiarize too much, and all quotations are from her blog.
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