Call Already

Journal Entry - April 2, 2011

Still no call from Mission of Tears.  Waiting, waiting, waiting.

This has been the first few days I've wondered if we can actually do this. There is so much paperwork, so many steps. It seems a little daunting and over whelming. I'm going to start filling out forms tomorrow.  I'm having feelings of anxiety about whether this is the right thing for our family. Now that the initial excitement of  Steve being on board has settled in, and I begin to look at how this 'fleshes' out I want to be sure this is right.  

Lord show me your hand and provision.

The Privilege of Saving

Journal Entry - March 28th 2011

I'm with some of my favorite ladies today who are shopping, and I'm not buying anything, because I'm saving up for our adoption. The overwhelming joy of saving up for our adoption makes not spending feel like a privilege. I have the privilege of not spending to be able to save. I'm so happy to be able to scrimp for this.

This whole journey has me feeling a little vulnerable. I go to a buffet, and I'm sad that somewhere out there one of our children are hungry today. I crawl into a warm bed, and I wonder if she has somewhere dry to sleep tonight.

She doesn't know we exist, and yet I love her. I hope her future is intricately tied to mine. Lord, please deposit into her heart the knowledge that she is treasured, wanted, longed for. Don't let her despair. Please Lord go before us and make this path straight.