I. hate. waiting.

It's a good question, "How's the adoption going?". The answer is always the same, we're waiting. Our file is on a desk, waiting to be read, waiting to be signed, waiting to be passed on to another desk.

When will the waiting be over? Well, in 6 to 20 months, give or take a month. Maybe. Honestly, that's the answer.

I can't fully engage in how sad that is, how long that is. I'm not going there. And then I feel guilty that I'm putting those emotions on a back burner. As if somehow I'm putting the girls on a back burner. But doing every day life with some guilt is easier than doing every day life with overwhelming sadness. I'm not sure if that's an approved coping mechanism, but I'm picking it.

And there isn't a thing I can do to make this go faster. Well, I can pray, and I do pray, but I wish there was something for my hands to do.

So we do awesome family weekends without our whole family. And I don't even know if they'll be here next year. I hope they're here next year.